For once it’s work related: I made a big mistake at work and now I feel bad. This is simple, I think, pretty plain. You make an error and you feel bad. It’s ok, it’s normal.
But not for me… the more responsability I have, the more the weight of it is big on my shoulders… hence every error become more and more painful… to the point of real anxiety.
I know it will take me a few days to rationalize it, to think that I cannot be perfect even if I try so hard to be… but in the meanwhile I will feel this pain, here in the guts and it won’t go away for a while, I know. I feel so frail. I must be.
So what I will be if I can’t be what I want to be?
That’s why I need guidance? For I’m not able to set for myself a golden path?
We’ll see.
For now just lool at the worms Usul and see how big is the Maker.
In a night of boreedom I found the pleasure to serve. Now I look for the same emotions of that night, trying to find again the right hands to tie me up.
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